Monday, October 8, 2007

Garden Fencing

Fall has arrived. So naturally, most of the plants in our vegetable garden are done producing for the year. Each year we need to cut them all back so that they have time to compost into the soil before next spring when we replant. Chris typically does this.

It is at this point it feel it is pertinent to mention that my husband, and this is a direct quote, "has this awesome sword that almost never gets used!" So naturally what better time to remove it from the wall where it is displayed (yes, I realize I was somehow tricked into allowing him to hang it on the wall of our home as a "decoration") and use it to chop down the garden plants.

He never tells me when he is planning this he just does it. So inevitably, I will look out the window totally unprepared, and see my husband standing in the middle of the garden, fencing with an invisible opponent amongst a flurry of flying corn husks, zucchini vines and leafy greens. Garden Fencing, as I now refer to it, may or may not include the following activities:

  • Yelling "Yarrrrrgh!" (like a pirate)
  • Throwing pieces of vegetation into air and attempting to slice them in half with the sword on their way back down.
  • Shouting "En Garde!"
  • Batting practice
  • Swinging the sword from side to side vigorously so it makes that 'shwing shwing' noise
  • 'Knighting' the dog with the sword
  • Grinning mischievously
When he is done, the garden is gone with only piles of minced vegetation in his wake. The sword is cleaned and goes back into the sheath. And despite my best efforts, back onto the wall. Until next year, that is.


Scott said...

A thought just came to me...Is it possible that your neighbors (with the bird pecking the kids nose, etc.) have a blog too? And perhaps they actually write about some of your interesting activities? I'll be searching for that blog. I'll bet it's awesome!
"Sword wielding 1st grade teacher punishes garden after knighting dog 'Sir Warp' ".

Rachel said...

I just can't stop laughing over the visual of your neighbors writing a blog....LOL...that is too funny!
I still say sitcom material all the way!

T said...

Now the nut doesn't fall far from the tree, his father drove 150 miles, one way, to pick-up a non running, dirt encrusted, 1981, mismatched seat, basket case that took Larry & Mo, (Curly was in hiding) to load onto a trailer, that was almost too small, green pick-up truck, just for the "Fun" of it. So I am sorry to warn you that you have a life time of "Garden Fencing" to come.
Mom B