Thursday, July 16, 2009

Cow dehydrator

Yesterday I had the good fortune of coming across a pile of coupons for milk. A normal person with a normal family would have probably taken a few and moved on. But I, as we all know exist outside the norm. With my husband, who I lovingly refer to as the cow dehydrator. I say this because it is not only funny but true. He drinks so much milk that if left to his own devices, he could probably reduce a dairy cow to a pile of beef jerky in a matter of days.

I am not exaggerating when I say that he routinely goes through multiple gallons of whole milk weekly with out any assistance from me whatsoever. MULTIPLE. GALLONS. He drinks so much milk in fact that sometimes I buy milk that is close to the expiration date just to see if he can finish it in time. It is like a game to me.

Today at the grocery store, coupon in hand, I survey the milk and see a gallon that expires in 3 days. I picture him standing in the kitchen at 11:58 PM the night before the expiration frantically guzzling directly from the container in a desperate race against the clock. I picture it and then pick up the gallon that expires in 3 days. He can totally handle it.

I now have 31 of these coupons left to use before December 31. I doubt any will go to waste.