Thursday, June 28, 2007

Nocturnal Knock Knock Jokes

Any one who has spent more than, say, 20 minutes with me has heard my favorite joke. Anyone who has lived with me has probably banned me from telling it because they have heard it so many times. I learned this joke from an enthusiastic 3 year old in one of the swimming classes I used to teach. It's a really good one:
Me: Knock Knock
You: Who's there?
Me: Impatient Cow
You: Impatient Cow Wh (Me: MOOOOOO!) o?

Now, until recently I thought this was the funniest knock knock joke ever but then, last night at approximately 12:15 AM the greatest knock knock joke of all time occurred to me (yes that's right I make up knock knock jokes). Chris was asleep but this was not important. I woke him up by shaking him vigorously.
Me: Chris! Pssssst! Wake up!
Chris: Mmmmph?
Me: Knock Knock (I am now shaking with anticipation and snickering)
Chris: You have got to be kidding me.
Dog: Loud groan
Chris: See even the dog doesn't want to hear the impatient cow joke. I am going to train him to groan just like that every time you say knock knock.
Me: actually that would be really funny, how do you think we would teach him to do that? I mean, we would have to somehow get him to associate the words knock knock wi...
Chris: Oh. My. God. It is 12:30. Is it *absolutely* critical that we discuss dog training right now?
Me: Yeah, sorry you are right.
Chris: Thank you . (Rolling over)
Me: I'll just tell you the joke and we can talk about teaching the dog to groan on command after that. Knock Knock
Chris: *loud dramatic sigh* Who is there?
Me: (with great zeal and taking care to clearly enunciate) exploding cow
Chris: exploding cow wh( Me: BOOM!) o?

There was a long pause, then he started to laugh.
Moments later:
Chris: Knock Knock
Me: (gleefully) woooo! Who is there??
Chris: Cow
Me: Cow who?
Chris: Cows don't say who they say moo!
Me: Hysterical laughter and then a loud thud
Chris: What was that?
Me: I fell out of bed.
Dog: Loud groan


Heather said...

You are so funny. My DH would be soo aggravated if I woke him up in the middle of the night to tell him a knock knock joke. I'm going to have to try that. LOL Oh wow about your poor friend, 3 cars in a ditch in the same day. At least I'm not that bad. =0)

Estee said...

OH.MY.GOSH. YOU taught me the impatient cow joke!!! Seriously, you are Breuklyn's hero. That is Breuklyn's absolute favorite joke and I could not remember where I had heard it from!! I am seriously debating waking her up to tell her the exploding cow joke. Hmmm....
Poor Maddux doesn't get the knock knock jokes. He is totally stuck. Knock, knock... who's there?... 'nana!... Banana who?... knock, knock...
This makes for the world's longest car trips.
I got your thank you card today! That was so sweet!!! I forgot that this past weekend was the relay. How was it? Tell Chris I say hi and that Brad can relate on his interrupted sleep. When I told him about the new joke and how you had to share it with Chris, he said, "Tell him that I feel his pain." I woke him up last week to tell him that I killed one of my Sims on Sim2 and that I was feeling guilty. He was not amused. :)

Jessica B. Burstrem said...

Dude, I would not wake up my husband for ANYTHING. I would regret it until kingdom come.

Alex recently learned a bunch of knock-knock jokes from somewhere, but only one of them made sense when he told it to me, and that took some creative thinking on my part. Thus I'll save these for when he gets a little older, I guess.

BB said...

I am now teaching the dog to groan on command by saying knock knock and then squeezing him until he groans.
So far, the dog has eaten a lot of snausages but he still only groans when I squeeze him. This could take a while.

Rachel said...

As I roar with laughter (as you know how loud I laugh!) everyone is asking what is so funny.....hmmmm potential Cow joke people to recruit! I am so on this! It will kind of be like the Chuck Norris jokes that Cody and I worked on the whole way up from all time favorite "Chuck Norris' car doesn't run on gas...It runs on his Sweat!" LMAO. I Know but listen the Cow thing isn't much it? LOL

Estee said...

Warp had better get with the game!! He knows that this must be a matter of importance for you to be stuffing him full of snausages. Maybe he thinks you are hugging instead of squeezing?