Friday, March 14, 2008

Uni-wiggle

These are my new shoes. They have individual toes. They are so fantastic that I can not help but hop up and down with excitement every time I put them on. I got them yesterday. So in the last 24 hours there has been a lot of hopping. A LOT.

However, there is a darker side to the shoes. They have brought to light my glaring inability to wiggle my toes individually. I must wiggle them all back and forth together in unison or not at all. A, uni-wiggle, if you will. It has been this way for as long as I can remember, and It bring Chris endless amusement. Oh sure, he can wiggle all his toes which ever direction he wants. He can even snap his toes. HE can play twinkle twinkle little star on the keyboard with his toes. I ask you, how is this fair? It is not.

So there we are at the shoe store and I'm trying on these shoes because they are so fun and weird that I simply must have them and the only real question is what color should i get. I stick my feet out in front of me to examine them and Chris looks and me and says "now wiggle your toes."

I do my sad little uni-wiggle and Chris starts to laugh. The sales person looks perplexed. "No" he says "like, really wiggle them. You should be able to move them all back and forth." At this point Chris has had to place both hand over his face to muffle his fit of snickering.

"Um" I say sheepishly, "I can't wiggle my toes like that"

"Oh well if you can't wiggle your toes then you'll need a bigger size you should definitely be able to move them all around. They are probably too..."

"No" I interrupt "I can't wiggle my toes like that ever. I can only wiggle them all together. Like this." I do the uni-wiggle again while simultaneously delivering an elbow jab to my husband who is TOTALY LOSING IT. Stunned, the sales person just stares at my feet. "So," I ask changing the subject, "Can I wear them out?"

8 comments:

Crabby McSlacker said...

Too funny! I guess in terms of handicaps, the inability to wiggle ones toes isn't too awful.

I'm very curious about those shoes. I want a pair for the beach even though the make no sense for me. I need arch support and hate the feeling of anything between my toes.

Yet I want them. Go figure.

Scott said...

I can't wiggle my toes independently either. Does that make me a freak too? Err, uh, not that you are a freak.

As an aside, I used to have a girlfriend with a web toe. I thought it was cool at the time. Now that I know more about genetics and evolution I'm slightly disturbed by it. I wonder, when she swims, does she goe in circles because one foot has more power than the other?

tim maguire said...

They look pretty cool, but I'm sure I'd break a toe within hours of putting them on.

wombat said...

I just read your whole blog in one sitting. You are a fabulous writer. This cheered me up and made me laugh out loud several times. I wish I could watch your neighbors with you- they sound so amusing!
You have such a great attitude and optimism and a wonderful sense of humor.
At this point, Warp will have to be my favorite character, although the giant first grader is a close second.
Please keep up the blogging, as I am thoroughly enjoying your entries!

Katie said...

Haha, those shoes are awesome!

Just one question, though. Are they comfortable?

Mistress Mae said...

I discovered your blog today. It's hilarious. I love it. You should post more often so I have something funny to read. :-P

KT said...

Am I the only one that's freaked out by these shoes???

Yogg said...

really? Does he have any page? I would love to see he snapping his toes