Obituary

I did on of those online quizzes today. The topic? What would your obituary say?

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Yeah, that sounds about right.

When I was little there was a terrible, mean, old woman who lived on our block. She used to chase Girl Scouts selling cookies off her porch with a broom and 'confiscate' balls that accidentally bounced into her yard. You get the picture. Children in the neighborhood refered to her as Oldie-locks, since by our best approximation she was no less than 158 years old. A few years later the woman died, presumably of old age.

My mom found her obituary in the paper and was discussing it with my dad when I walked into the room. "What is an obituary?" I inquired. My parents exchanged glances.

"Honey," my mom said, "Mrs. X (her name escapes me) from down the street died so they put a obituary in the paper, as a way of letting people know ."

"So the obituary is for Oldie-locks?"

"Yes" my mom answered. "I know Mrs. X was not very nice to you kids but can you please stop calling her Oldie-locks?"

"So this word, obituary" I continued, "it's an abbreviation?"

"An abbreviation? What do you mean?"

"Obituary" I said slowly. "Old bitches who have died."

My mother and father did their best to stifle their laughter. "No, it is not an abbreviation" said my dad.

"And it does not mean old bitches who have died" my mom interjected sternly.

To this day, when ever the topic of obituaries comes up in my family we all burst into snickers. It makes for some great comic relief in an otherwise humorless situation.