Friday, December 21, 2007

Gondola Drag Racing

I am married to a teacher. That being said, there are sometimes projects created at our house. Big projects. With themes. That brings me to last night. Chris was feverishly preparing for today's class holiday party. This year's theme: Christmas in Italy.

Italians have all kinds of fascinating holiday traditions. For example, in Venice, they race gondolas on Christmas Eve. In my head I picture Santa holding a checkered flag amidst a floating fleet of souped up "street racing" gondolas complete with neon lights, chrome trim and huge outboard motors strapped on the back. The gondoliers are all wearing fire proof jumpsuits and helmets. Now, I've been to Venice and I didn't see any street racing gondolas but, it was summer. Maybe they only get them out at Christmas. Anything is possible.

Chris decided that his kids should do a gondola race during their class party. He has been working with power tools all week in the basement sawing and drilling to make these boats. He even painted them. They came out really great. But he still needed to find a way to race them. What to use.... hummmmm...

There used to be gutters on the front of our house. *Used* to be. Now they are gondola race tracks. In the basement the 10 foot long gutters were precariously positioned with a wobbly table under each end. "Now for the water"Chris announced pouring a huge bucket of water into the first gutter. "Huh, it's not full yet. I think it needs more" he said. The second bucket-full went in. I watched as the gutter bowed like a hammock. Then water started to pour over the sides making loud splashing noises as it hit the cement floor. "That's bad" Chris announced. The cap on the end of the gutter fell off and the remaining water rushed out the end and hit the rug with a a sickening thwap. I put my head in my hands. "That's worse" he said.

"You know" I said, looking at Chris, "they flooded the Colosseum with water for ship battles in ancient *Rome* not Venice." Chris game me a look that suggested my impeccable comedic timing was failing to amuse him. Since we only have one mop, and I was out of jokes, I decided to go upstairs. From the basement I heard loud mopping punctuated by muttering. Then silence. Then hammering. Wait. Hammering?

I ran back downstairs to find Chris standing in the middle of the laundry room holding a hammer and grinning. I looked around frantically. I was not prepared for what I saw. The soggy rug was now nailed to the rafters. A large puddle forming underneath it as it dripped dry. I blinked in disbelief. "You nailed the rug to the ceiling! WHY did you NAIL the rug to the CEILING?" I sputtered

"Well, it was too heavy for the clothesline" Chris responded matter-of-factly. "But don't worry! I used really little nails."

3 comments:

Grace L. Wu said...

your life IS stranger than fiction... see ya tonight!

Scott said...

Wait a minute Otto...this is the second time I've heard this story and I think I still agree with Chris. This may not be blog worthy because any one of us men could have had this same minor setback. As Hannah Montana says "everyone makes mistakes, everyone has those days". Hannah is only 16 and she gets it! Besides, Chris used small nails so it should be fine. I probably would have used screws and then destroyed the fabric weave in the rug. Anytime you need a wing man Chris...I'm there!

Robin said...

Oh my god. That is hilarious. He's drip drying the rug!!!!